Minor Depression

I always have this kind of feeling - couldn't smile, don't wanna talk, and all I want is only... your attention. Sometimes I wish for you to flatter me, which you never will. Am I an attention seeker? I don't know.

Today I came home with very good mood. Once I stepped in the house, and I saw you parked your car outside, my mood became even better. I planned everything, to have good chat with you, have dinner and then we go to play badminton together. We were good; unwrapping a parcel from Groupon together, looked at the product and studied how to use it, together. Until I mentioned about tomorrow's dinner with my family, you turned to be uninterested (which I realized it always happened whenever I mention about my family), and you went straight to bed, saying you were exhausted. I know you were tired, but a minute ago you were just alright. I'm not blind. 

Why is it each time I mention about my family, you'll have that kind of reaction? Marrying you makes me stay away from my family, and only during weekend I can see them. All I wish is that you can spend time with them too (especially my mum), like what I'm doing in your house here. I had already trying my best to make sure I'll have dinner with your parents on every Sunday. And can't you just do that for me, only on that certain Saturdays? 

I miss my mum, I'm worried about her. I want to go home and spend time with her. She's the one I love most in my life. If you truly love me, I'm sure you'll love my family too. The question is, do you really love me? 

Woke up from your nap, you went straight to your laptop. Yeah, fine. Maybe your work is really urgent, that you need to settle before dinner. But then, during dinner? After dinner? Only when I said I'm not joining you for badminton, then only you try to show some care. And that's it! 

It's only a month more, not even 2 months after we got married. I'm not happy... I can't tell anyone, not my mum, not anyone. Tell you? You'll only say I'm thinking or worrying too much. If this is the life of marriage, I'd rather not to get married. Then I'll be pampered always. At least, I still have the chance to choose my happiness. 

What am I supposed to do now? Take bath and go to sleep? I really don't know.........

A Man Who Loves You and Cares of You WILL...

1. Wish to see you all the time.
2. Want to do everything together with you (eat, sleep, travel, cuddle, shop, watch movie, cook, do housework, etc.)
3. Want to give his best to you (of course within his affordability).
4. Know what you like and dislike.
5. Say sweet words to you and ONLY to you.
6. Think of you wherever he goes.
7. Google search to find out ways to make you smile if he does not know how or runs out of ideas.
8. Say he loves you with all his heart (you really can feel it when he does).
9. Put you at the first place in his heart and his plans.
10. Give all his time to you (other than working time).
11. Be willing to sacrifice his time for hobby / interest only to be with you.
12. Let you rely on him.
13. Help you in everything you do (even though you can do it yourself).
14. Never let you travel alone.
15. Surprise you when you least expected (surprise doesn't has to be expensive; a card with sweet messages sent to your office is romantic enough to make you smile for the whole day).
16. TRY HIS BEST TO MAKE YOU HAPPY (even cry will ONLY be happy tears).

When he does not do the above, you'll have to consider is he really the one that you are looking for? Will you want to marry someone who doesn't love you as much as you do.

THE MOST IMPORTANT IS, WILL YOU BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

Think carefully...

Personality Test

Remember there was once I took a personality test which myself and most of my friends think it is accurate. After 4 years, I'm taking this test again and I found that the result of the test changed. I'm no more the me from 4 years ago. The result changed, I CHANGED!

By the way, here's the link if you wanna try it out too: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Here's the comparison of my results 4 years ago with the current one:

Your view on yourself:
2009:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
2013:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
(Am i really cheerful? I doubt the answer...)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
2009:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
2013:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
(Haha... this im pretty sure that I'm a true romantic. But I do still like serious, smart and determined people)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
2009:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
2013:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
(I guess this is right as I'm getting old now... not much time left. hehehe... :P)

The seriousness of your love:
2009:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
2013:
You have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
(errr... I changed from being serious into someone with plenty of dates?? This im not too sure!)

Your views on education
2009 / 2013:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
2009 / 2013:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
(hahaha... I'm still the practical me!)

How do you view success:
2009:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
2013:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.
(as time goes by, I'm no more myself back in 2009, a girl full of passion into her future. For me now, after so many things happened in these years, I learn to cherish my family and my loved ones... 6.30pm the latest to leave the office!! hahaha... that's my limit)

What are you most afraid of:
2009:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
2013:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
(totally agree with this change)

Who is your true self:
2009 / 2013:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. 
(errr... wow... still the great compliments bout myself... hehehe... humble... humble..... :P)

给我的留言

用久违的纸笔

我尝试描写那不知名的思念情绪

海浪声。虫呜

吉他声。呢喃

用风传递的柔情

承载久未应验的心诚则灵

Valentine's Day 2012

This coming 14 Feb. reminds me of the Valentine's Day I had with him last year. It was not a very sweet and romantic one, but at least I had someone, so called 'Lover' to celebrate this day with me. And this year... I don't have any.

Ya, I know that life has to go on but I would rather spend it alone, than going out with anyone who's going to date me for that day. I would like to keep this special day for someone special... Actually I have one in mind, and if he dates me out, I'll definitely be going!

Happy Valentine's Day!

别让生命留下遗憾 Do not let your life live behind the regret

如果我还一直深爱着你... 你是否还会待在我身边？

如果我还一直在乎着你... 你是否会再多看我一眼？

是否我已不存在了... 你才感觉得到我的离开？

是否我已离开了... 你才感觉得到我对你的好？

人，往往失去了某些东西或某一些人，才会感觉得到他的重要。

难道只有失去了才懂得珍惜吗？

If I'm still deeply in love with you... will you still stay here with me?

If I'm still care about you... will you take a glance at me once again?

Do I need to disappear ...to make you feel my departure?

Do I really need to leave... to make you realise my good to you?

Human, will only feel the importance once they lost certain thing or certain people in their life.

Cherish... only comes after the lose?

I Believe...

I believe that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe that no matter how good a friends is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe that you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I believe that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I belive that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe that sometimes, the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe that maturity has more to do with what types of experience you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I believe that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.It could change your life forever.

I believe that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I believe that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I believe that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

http://www.appleseeds.org/I-Believe.htm

Now, what do you believe in??